The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast
The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast
Episode 8: A First Date Is Not An Interview
In Episode 8 of The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast, host Cristina shares her journey of dating for 10 years, culminating in finding true love. She offers valuable advice on making first dates engaging and memorable by avoiding the typical interview-style questions. Cristina introduces 10 high-value questions to facilitate unique and meaningful conversations that reveal deeper insights into each other's passions, values, and aspirations. This episode aims to help listeners stand out on their dates and create more authentic connections.
00:00 Introduction to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast
00:54 Why First Dates Shouldn't Feel Like Interviews
02:45 High-Value Questions to Ask on a First Date
03:14 Diving Deeper: Examples and Explanations
05:51 Personal Insights and Experiences
07:03 The Importance of Celebrating Accomplishments
08:57 Influences and Inspirations
09:49 Dream Dinners and Aspirations
15:12 Unwinding and Relaxation Routines
17:33 Surprising Discoveries and Personal Revelations
20:06 Favorite Memories and Final Thoughts
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You are listening to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast, Episode 8: A First Date Is Not An Interview. Hi, I'm Cristina. After 10 years of dating, I was tired of attracting the wrong type of guys and thinking I had to lose weight to find love. I finally figured out how to date and I found the love I thought I would never find each week. I'll teach you dating advice, share dating stories and help you ditch the dating drama. My goal is to help you have fun and create the life you love. If you're ready to take your dating to another level, then listen up and let's go. Hello, everyone. I am Cristina and I am The curvy Girl Dating Coach and this is my podcast. I just wanted to say hello and welcome you to this episode. Today, we are going to talk about high value questions to ask on a first date. A lot of times when you go on dates, they are like a broken record. It sounds like an interview or an interrogation and then you go on them and it's the same old questions."What do you do? Where do you work? What do you do for work? What do you do on your spare time?" Just the same things every single time and it gets very boring for both you and for the person that you're going out with, if they've gone on probably more than three days. It's the same questions. It's great for you to stand out and ask different questions so that people remember you in a different way, because you had some unique questions and with those unique questions, not only are you getting to know that person in a different way with a natural conversation instead of this interrogation interview thing. They also get to know about you as well in a different way, instead of,"Hi, my name is Cristina. I am a dating coach." It's not robotic and boring, so you're actually bringing something different to the table. So hopefully if they are a serious as dating as you are, then it might be a first date that stands out compared to all of the rest. So that will put you in a different level. And again, we're dating for quality, not quantity and we're dating for a reason, like very intentional to get the kind of relationship that you're looking for, whatever that might be. 10 high value questions I don't even know all of these for myself, but I will try. So let's see, so question number one, and this doesn't have to go in any order specifically And again, the goal of the conversation is to get to know people, have them get to know you, and not sound like a rigid interview. You really want the conversation to flow authentically. Number one"what's something that you're really passionate about right now." So that's a question that opens up the conversation and it lets him share his interest with excites him and creates like a discussion that's a little bit deeper about his interest in hobbies. It's a little bit more specific because you're talking about being passionate about it. So instead of the plain,"oh, I like to play soccer on the weekends. I'm really passionate about soccer. I've been playing since I was 10 years old. It's something that I've grown up and has been part of my life forever. I've been surrounded by it since I was a kid it's been running in my family. I have a little kids who also play soccer." It gives you a little bit more in depth about that person's interests or hobbies. So you really want to think about what your passions are as well. I have my own business. I'm very passionate about it becoming full-time for me, I've been doing it for several years. I have a certification. I have wonderful clients." I can talk forever about my passion for my business and Curvy Girl Dating. Question number two is:"what's the best piece of advice that you've ever received." That just gives you an insight on their values and their principles and who has guided their decisions. Potentially, that can lead into the conversation of who gave them that piece of advice that was the best that they've ever received. So many good things can come out of that. And then maybe,"what's the worst piece of advice that you've ever received." It might be some funny haha joke or it might've been the worst advice, but through that advice ended up being a valuable lesson. You just never know. They're good questions to have. So that's like a two-part question. But yeah, best piece of advice, for me, I don't know. Just."It don't really matter what people think about you," probably, is the best piece of advice. I'm sure that there is lots of valuable advice that I've received, but as a recovering people, pleaser, That's probably a good one for me is. Just,"it doesn't matter what people think about you, you just do you." I'm sure I can think of more. Question number three:"If you could spend a day doing anything that you want, what would it be?" That is a great question to see how somebody spends their free time. Because what did they don't know that answer? And they're like."I don't know. All I do is work all day and I go to sleep and don't do anything else. It's the same thing every day." And they have nothing to offer about what is a better way to spend your day, other than work and sleeping, that can be a telling thing, and maybe they have this fabulous dream day that they want to spend and they can't wait to tell you all about it. Maybe they've been planning it. Who knows? So there's a lot to tell about somebody and what they choose as their special day for them, if they could do anything that they want. So what would be yours? Always think whatever questions that you're going to ask that you're willing to answer them as well. Like you can't. You can't ask somebody a question and then not be willing to reciprocate. That's kinda not fair. Sub advice on that is. Ask questions that you're willing to answer. Number four: What's a recent accomplishment that you're proud of." That kind of tells a lot about somebody's confidence. Their skills, what they're good at, their beliefs about themselves, their self-discipline. Just different things, if they celebrate themselves, like giving yourself time to stop. And look at your day or look at your life, or, take some time to pay attention about what you've been doing and finding those accomplishments and acknowledging them. That's a really big thing because sometimes people just go do the same thing over and over again. And don't really take the time to appreciate what they've done or what they have. And this is important for you as well, celebrating any kind of wins that you have is important to take a pause and appreciate them. If it's the end of the day, get into the habit of celebrating your wins and thinking about your accomplishments, even if it's the smallest thing, like"I got to work on time today," maybe that's something that you're not the best at. But if you got to work on time today, and that's a big accomplishment for you, then celebrate it acknowledge it. And know that's something to be proud of. So it could be the smallest thing It's important for you to acknowledge that for yourself. It's very telling when somebody has an answer for that. Definitely that self encouragement and positivity is great and it's a good green flag for somebody else. Cause you know that they have personal goals and something that's meaningful for them. I think that's a really good question to ask. It's one of my favorites. What's your recent accomplishment that you're proud of? Number five:"who has influenced you the most in your life?" That shows, who they admire, what they admire, who they value? It shows a little bit about their character and the relationships they prioritize. And same thing for you, who has influenced you the most in your life and why? Is it somebody alive? Is it somebody that you know, or is it somebody who's famous or what? Who in your life has influenced you the most? That's also a good question. And I think it tells a lot about a person and again, who they prioritize, like learning about or understanding or seeing, or who they're influenced by obviously that's the question. I think it's just a very revealing question. Number six: If you could have dinner with any three people dead or alive who would they be? And why? I had to really think about this, I have to look at my three people I think. It was really interesting thinking about who I would want to have at a dinner, if it could be three people. If I had to pick three. I would probably pick, Sara Blakely because Sara Blakely is like one of the top entrepreneurs. If you don't know, she's the founder of Spanx and she started it with$5,000 or in her apartment in 2000. She worked and worked and had all these different prototypes until Neiman Marcus finally picked up her prototype and she went from there. Neiman Marcus took a chance on her. the company earns an estimated$400 million every year. So, she's a pretty big entrepreneur, whether or not she's the biggest female entrepreneur in the world or not, it's fabulous to see a female entrepreneur doing something like that and starting small and being successful. Since I am an entrepreneur and I have my coaching business and, it's been small and gradually getting bigger. I would just love to pick her brain and just learn about her ups and downs and her successes and her failures and how she overcame rough times. I think it would be interesting and. meaningful to incorporate her thoughts and energy into my own business to be even more successful than I am today. Second person would be Whitney Wolfe Herd. She is the person who co-founded Bumble. I like Bumble because, it's the first app that females communicate first. And I think it's an interesting concept and I know it's been successful for many people. So I like the app and I am not getting paid for this, by the way, I just happened to be a person who likes this app. And I think it's a great concept and she has been very successful. So again, she's also a successful female entrepreneur that intrigues me, but not only that she's in the dating field like I am, even though she's not necessarily a life coach, but she has her dating down and her dating data and all that stuff. So I would love to learn about how she created this app why she created it the way that she did. And why the questions that she's had has on the app is like that, how the algorithm works. I would love to learn all of that stuff because I just find it so interesting. And I love talking about dating. So I think she would be an interesting, fun person to have. My third person would be: The Rock because he's just amazing. I think he's funny. I used to watch WrestleMania when he was a wrestler back in the day I was in high school and I went to a Houston WrestleMania. he was fighting Triple H. I don't know how I remember this, but I guess I'm that much of a Rock fan, I don't know, Dwayne Johnson fan, whatever. So, it was my senior year at school and I went to this WrestleMania and made posters. You know how everybody has posters. I don't know if people still have posters anymore, because I haven't watched wrestling since probably high school. But, everybody at one point had posters that they would take. I had one that said, Rock, will you go to prom with me?" And I was like, man, wouldn't that be so cool if he saw it, or if I was on the big screen I just thought it was funny. So he would be cool And Oprah as well. She should be in the first three, but if I had to pick three. She would be a backup. if I could have four, she would take that space. Anyhow, I think that would be a fun dinner with those three, that would be a great table. But yeah, I think that is telling of your imagination who are your idols or historic figures that people admire, what is important about their, inspirations and why they inspire you. I enjoy that question. it's a good one. they've changed since, 10 years ago. I'm sure the Kardashians were in my circle at some point, But not today so far. My table switches up a lot. Number seven,"what's something that you've always wanted to try, but you haven't gotten around to doing yet." This is again, a future goal thing. It's an adventurous side of that person. It gives you a glimpse into their aspirations. And it's just an interesting question. What is something that you've always wanted to do? Is it a vacation? Is it meeting somebody? Is it having dinner with these people? What is it that you want to do? It's a good question to show some of their future goals and dreams. Number eight:"What is your favorite way to unwind after a long day?" That helps you know, about somebody's routine, how they manage their stress. How they like to relax and enjoy their free time, what's important? How do they regulate their day, whenever it's been a long day? How do you enjoy yourself and unwind and relax. Mine this probably just like having a glass of wine and vegging out in front of the TV, not having the responsibility of cooking or having chores to do or anything like that. Any after work activities. Maybe just have a dinner that's just something quick and grab and go that I don't have to think about. I'm a very big fan of cereal for dinner. It's just easy. It's simple. It's just cereal, and I don't have to think about it. It's always there. It's always available to me. So if I want something that I just don't have to make and put in a whole lot of effort, that's always a winner for me. It's cereal. And some wine and some true crime, wine and true crime is a great way for me to unwind. So what is it that you like to do? Have you ever even thought about it? I used to go and grab food all the time and I thought like food was the answer to comfort for a long day. I've since then changed that habit, because I know that comfort was really what I wanted and not food. Yes, cereal is food and wine is a beverage, but I'm just saying, it's not like eating copious amounts of food and making myself numb or falling asleep and passing out and having a stomach ache later. Like those kinds of used to be my habits before, but now it's pretty much just not having responsibility and clearing my mind from overthinking. So watching true crime and putting tours down for the side to that day. It's just basically the way I unwind and then occasionally there's cereal and wine sprinkled in there every once in awhile. So anyhow, the ultimate goal for me is to find comfort and rest. Let's see, number nine:"What is something that you recently learned that really surprised you." So this one I learned in this week I have ocular rosacea. I didn't know that was a thing. I don't have rosacea anywhere else. Apparently, I have it in my eyeballs and there's different treatments or whatever, but one of the treatments that surprised me, is doxycycline, which is an antibiotic for rosacea, right? Rosacea is not a bacteria, as I thought that was the weirdest thing,. So of course,, I asked my doctor and she gave me the answer. So it was just a thing it's really surprising and interesting that I learned, I'm a science gal for you guys that don't know me. I have a Bachelor's in Science for Clinical Laboratory Science. Basically, my career was working in a lab specifically. Most of the time that I worked in at the lab at the hospital was in the microbiology department. So I love talking about organisms and Normal flora and, pathogenic organisms and antibiotics, like I'm a nerd, okay? So that was my full-time job for a long time. And now I'm on the IT side of it. So I still work in lab related things and I, still do lots of microbiology related things, but it's more on the computer side instead of working physically in the lab. So I don't have my little lab coat, my white lab coat anymore or anything. So yeah, that's most of my career. And again, my current full-time job is working in laboratory IT. Hopefully my dating business will be full-time at one point sooner than later, but right now that's what I do full time and I very much love it. And it's so interesting. I really enjoy it. So anyhow, that is something that I learned recently about this rosacea thing and I have new glasses by the way, and I love them, they're amazing. So I'm so glad that I can see now. And my eyeballs feel better because I'm taking care of the ocular rosacea and not with doxycycline, because I don't want to take antibiotics for six months because that would suck. And I won't geek you out on that any further. So that was something that recently surprised me. And last but not least number 10:"What is your favorite memory from the last year?" Gosh, I don't even know. I have so many. You don't have to ask all 10 questions. You can go and ask one question and then it might just lead to more and more conversations that you don't ask any other questions. But, if not, you have great backups, or one question and that chain of questions starts to fizzle, you have another one in your back pocket to go. So anyways, if you do get to question 10, I like it because it ends on a positive note, but it would be, what's your favorite memory from the last year?" I just, I probably right now, my most recent one was getting this house six months ago. Just enjoying that whole process was probably my favorite memory. So it wasn't just one specific memory, but it was one big memory with all the little processes in between. It was so much fun and stressful and I felt crazy and I had lots of up and downs, but overall it's been an awesome memory cause I got this house with Ryan. It's our first house. It's pretty cool. We are excited about the new life that we're creating. And I think that's such a great memory to hold onto. It's not gonna only be my favorite memory from this last year, but hopefully for a long time after this. Those are my 10 favorite high value questions to ask for your first date. I hope that they're valuable and high value for you as well. And they relate to you. I hope some of them are easy to answer for you and some of them, hopefully you have a little bit more thought on them as well. So I hope you enjoy these questions and they do well for you on your first dates. Going on first dates with the goal of not sounding like an interview and not being just like everybody else, is going to help you stand out and have a memorable date, not only for you, but also for the person that you are going on a date with. So thank you guys so much for listening. Thanks.