Episode 21: How To Love The Skin You're In During the Holidays

In Episode 21 of The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast, Cristina shares valuable advice on maintaining body positivity and confidence during the holiday season. Drawing from her own experiences, she addresses common challenges such as judgmental comments about weight and appearance, and offers practical strategies to manage them. Cristina emphasizes the importance of mindset, self-care routines, and setting boundaries to ensure a joyous and stress-free holiday experience. The episode provides listeners with tips on choosing comfortable outfits, redirecting negative conversations, and creating a positive environment for themselves, ultimately focusing on enjoying the festivities without letting negativity affect their self-esteem.

00:00 Introduction to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast
00:38 Facing Holiday Body Image Challenges
01:48 Handling Unwanted Comments
06:09 Choosing Comfort and Confidence in Clothing
09:38 Creating a Positive Morning Routine
15:48 Reframing Negative Thoughts
19:21 Final Tips for a Joyful Holiday

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Transcript

Cristina: 0:00

You are listening to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast, Episode 21: How To Love The Skin You're In During The Holidays. Hi, I'm Cristina. After 10 years of dating, I was tired of attracting the wrong type of guys and thinking I had to lose weight to find love. I finally figured out how to date and found the love I thought I would never find each week. I'll teach you dating advice, share dating stories and the dating drama. My goal is to help you have fun and create the life you love. If you're ready to take your dating to another level, then listen up and let's go. Hello everyone. Today, we are going to talk about how to love the skin you're in during the holidays. For me a lot of the times when holidays were coming up and I hadn't seen people in a while, I would fear the comments or the judgment that they would have about me. It was nerve-wracking and would stress me out. At one point it's not even fun or enjoyable to go to the holiday event because I have so much crap in my mind that I can't even focus on the good things, I know that can be stressful for people and I just wanted to talk about it a little bit today and just more about body neutrality and being okay with who you are. Not having to stress and worry about what other people have to say, because the most important judgment is yours, and so you want it to be a good thing, right? You want it to be, confident and positive. I think the biggest one for me is the comments, right? When you see people and they might make some passive aggressive comments or ask you uncomfortable questions. My favorite is when they say, oh, you look so good. If you lost some weight, you would just look so amazing." Thanks for telling me that it was so annoying. That would set the tone for my attitude the whole evening. I would let one person's words put so much weight on me. Not gonna happen anymore. Don't allow that in your mind when people say stuff. They're just saying stuff and it has nothing to do with you. They just don't have manners or they're just jerks, they might just be the asshole family member that likes to do that to everybody. But you can't blame them for just being who they are. You just the best part is that it doesn't have to affect you. When someone says,"oh my God, if you lost 10 pounds, you would be perfect." Thank you." Just avoid it and to end any future conversations, be like,"I think I look great the way I am right now," or"I feel great exactly how I am right now. But thanks." You don't have to be mean about it or super offended. It's almost laughable. Think,"I can't even believe this person has the guts to say something like that, it's laughable." So another one would be like,"are you sure that you want seconds?""Yes, the food tastes good. And I want seconds. Are you going to have seconds?" It's just, who cares? We're having a holiday party. You're enjoying your time. You don't need anybody to police the amount of food that you eat. That's your decision. And your an adult in your grown-ass person and you get to decide how much food you want to eat. Are you going to regret it later? Maybe? Is that your problem? Yeah. That's your choices, your decision that you made that felt good at the time, it might have been the best decision that you made and it might not have been, but that is nobody else's business. Redirecting the conversation. Is really helpful when people say asshole things to you. If somebody comments about your weight, you could just redirect it,"thank you so much for noticing I've been focusing on feeling good and I've been feeling really good lately." It doesn't matter if they're saying,"oh, you gained weight or, oh, you lost weight," or whatever. Whatever they say that's about your body or your weight or anything."Thank you so much. I am working on feeling great and I feel amazing today." It's going to throw them off and hopefully embarrass them that they're trying to say dumb things. It's also really good to set a boundary in advance, like maybe you have a great cousin or your sister or somebody that is. Always on your side and really supportive about you and your feelings and so on. Maybe you can call them up. And just say,"Hey, if you hear somebody ask me about my body or about my weight or just say something dumb about what I look like. Can you help redirect the question? Can you please change the subject?" So if somebody says,"oh, it looks like you lost weight," that person can have your back and just be like,"Hey, let's talk about how great this dessert is," or"check out the football game. Who's winning?" Just get the attention off of you and move it onto something else. Or put it back on them, be like,"it looks like you gained weight." Either way. It's fine. You don't have to be rude or insensitive about it. You can keep it short, keep it simple or change the subject. Don't allow people to steal your happiness at the holiday events is it's not worth it. You aren't going there to have a good time. The purpose is to enjoy family, having a great time. Enjoy food, enjoy conversation. Don't let any body ruin it for you. How you feel when you're dressing up for that event. I like to go in comfort clothes, but I also like to be a little stylish. And it's depends on the tone of your family. If you guys go and have Thanksgiving and you're all on PJ's and stuff, and it's like not a dress up kind of thing. Then go and enjoy yourself look. Your best in your PJ's and feel your best and your PJ's, whatever it is. If you want to go in sweats, if that's your theme, you're not there to go home and impress anybody. If you're having a sweat shirt and leggings kind of day, you do that because you're not worried about what other people thinking about your clothes or they're just clothes. Again, The focus is enjoying the meal, enjoying conversation, enjoying family, being thankful. There's no room in there for judgment about what people are wearing. Choose something that makes you feel great, regardless if it's, the best formal dress to the sweat pants. As long as you feel great, that's important. I like to wear things that are not tight around my waist, because I'm trying to enjoy the food that I rarely have during the year. I also try to be mindful about my food and how much food I'm eating. Cause I don't want to feel miserable and I don't want to. Just feel overstuffed and it's not necessary because there's leftovers. So pack. Leftovers, if you want to, and I'm not saying you have to do that. If you want to feel really stuffed and enjoyed the tryptophan, enjoy it, but for me, I don't like feeling that full. I'll bring a little Tupperware and bring food home I get to enjoy it more. Or things that I didn't enjoy at this meal, I'll get some of that. So then I can enjoy that later. So that's not the point. We're talking about clothes. So with clothes. I like to wear comfort clothes address. Some stretchy leggings, maybe some cute jeggings cute ankle boots and a little sweater. Sometimes in Houston, it's 90 degrees on Thanksgiving. So maybe a sweater isn't like the best, but a cute shirt, whatever. So where are the things that make you comfortable and. It's a win. Comfort and confidence. Is a win-win situation if you feel comfortable. It helps you feel confident too. They go together and when you're feeling confident, And I'm not talking about just your looks. I'm just talking about confident in general. You're happy to tell stories about your accomplishments that you've had during the year. You're happy to make an announcement about what exciting thing you have going on. You're grateful to spend time with the people you're surrounded by When you're feeling confident in what you're wearing, it really translates into other areas in your life that confidence would be good for Dress for you. Don't dress for other people because again, the most important person in the room is you and how you feel. When you're waking up in the morning, set the tone for how you want to feel that day. A little self care goes a long way. In the mornings, practice a routine that sets a positive tone. For example, start your day with some gratitude. If you're a journaler, write down a couple sentences of what you're grateful for the day. And if that's not your thing, What do you do in a routine in the morning? That can feel amazing or sets the tone for positivity. For example, every day when I get up to get ready for work. I make a cup of coffee, but to me making the cup of coffee sets the tone. It gets me excited. I really enjoy it. So I'm not just making a cup of coffee. I'm making a cup of coffee, right? Like it's just so much more enjoyable because I start thinking about it like it's this wonderful thing and that I get to have something positive that I enjoy first thing in the morning. I really think about this cup of coffee, right? So if lately I've been into making cold iced coffee drinks. I pour my coffee in over my ice in the cup. And I like to listen to the ice crackling when the coffee's pouring on it. I get my milk out and if I have vanilla creamer, I'll get a little vanilla creamer. I've been into the whole pumpkin thing. I don't like pumpkin spice, but I like pumpkin. So I will do a couple pumps of pumpkin and sweeten it up a little bit. I put my lid on and my straw shake it up. I love hearing myself shake it up. It's so much more enjoyable that way. Like it's this beautiful treat I get to have every morning. And I make a hot coffee the same way I have a Nespresso. It has the little pod. I get to open the little drawer and look at what I want to make that day. I choose the pod that I want and make the coffee I take out all the little things that I need to mix into the coffee. If I want to have a little creamer and some sugar I buy sugar cubes to feel fancy. Instead of spoonfuls of sugar I prefer a sugar cube because it makes me feel fancy. It's little things like that. Make it so much better. The same thing with tea, I love good hot tea, boiling the water. I specifically like to get the loose leaf tea and putting in the loose leaf tea into the strainer and in the boiling water letting it steep I take the dogs out or whatever I'm doing to let it steep. I take it out. I smell the tea as it's steeping. Just whatever, but I've just really get involved in all of my senses. I'm looking at things. I'm smelling things. I get to taste it. It's just a nice experience to have that. It could be whatever it is that you want it to be. Obviously y'all can tell how much I enjoy making this beverage in the morning. If you enjoy washing your face and putting, lotion on before your makeup That could be something that's really enjoyable. You could feel it, you can smell it. You can rub it on your face. What is the temperature? Is it warm? Is it cold? Just make it really focused and turn one little thing into something positive. And if you want to try something new, maybe you want to do a little stretching in the morning or do some somatic exercises or read a book or listen to a podcast. There are so many different things you could do to create a positive setting for your day. When you're getting ready, put on some music. I have a predate playlist that I like. If you want to put on Christmas music or whatever it is while you're getting ready, put on a playlist that you really like, that has music that will really pump you up and make you feel confident. If that isn't your thing. Maybe you have an app that helps you with breath work, and do some deep breathing or a little meditation, or maybe the music you need to listen to is just calm and uplifting and instrumental, whatever it is that you need as like this routine to make you feel good before you go to this event, do it. It can be from your morning ritual to listening to music, anything that you want just set the tone for yourself. And remember while you're there, give yourself permission to take a break. If you're getting overwhelmed at the events. A little self care goes a long way. If you need to step out for a second, get some fresh air, Go to the bathroom, whatever it is, but just take a few minutes to yourself that you can recharge and then come back and reset yourself for the rest of the evening. give yourself that permission on your way home. Listen to your favorite podcast. Don't sit and stew on your drive home and think about what the hell aunt Betty said. And that she made some comment that you're fat or she didn't like her outfit or your makeup was ugly, or she didn't like your hair cut, who cares about her. if you like it, then it doesn't matter what she said. don't stew on your way home about something that already happened. It's in the past. Just move on and focus on what is now. She's a jerk, whatever. But we're not going to let that bother us for the rest of the night. I'm going to listen to a podcast. go home and forget that she said anything stupid. just move on. Learning how to catch your negative thoughts is so helpful. The more you catch it, the more practice that you have catching these negative thoughts and reframing them. The easier it is to get by in life. If you're looking in the mirror and you like, oh my God, it looks so fat in this. Think about,"Do I really look fat in this? Why am I wearing this outfit in the first place? What was I thinking when I bought this outfit, you bought it for some reason, there was some part of you that liked the outfit before you brought it home and you made the decision to put it on today. So what were you thinking at those times that made you feel great about that outfit and what is really in your way from not liking it right now? And maybe it is just something that you can't overcome that day and you do need an outfit change, but the practice of catching. Yourself saying, oh my God, it looks so fat in this outfit. And then just stopping and be like,"I just talked shit about myself and we're just, we don't talk shit about ourselves anymore. We're going to have a solution." The solution is the change of the outfit and get over the drama that I'm having. Or think about something nice about myself to say about this outfit, when I bought this outfit, I loved how much. I liked how my curves looked in this outfit. So I think that I look amazing and I'm just going to rock it because that's how I felt when I bought it, So I'm going to do that right now. there's different ways that you can reframe a negative thought and. It's not just about clothes and what you will get in the mirror. It could be your judgment of yourself. What you think about other people. Just different things that come in your head, that's like negative. You can stop it and be like, we're not doing that anymore. We don't think that way. this is not the time to think that way we have another agenda and we're going to have a great time today. catching that and reframing it, or just stopping yourself in those tracks and moving forward is so refreshing. it's just really helpful. And also stop yourself. If you notice any kind of comparison. When you see somebody like your. Cousin that's the same age as you and your whole life. You've been competing with what she does or what she looks like or what's going on in her life. don't do that. go and see your cousin she's just your cousin and she's doing things in her life. She's wearing something or her hair looks some way, but it doesn't need to reflect you. She's doing her thing. That's completely separate from you, that whole comparison thing can make you miserable. So instead of saying oh, she looks better than me and her dress I look like shit. why even do that? That's a nice dress that she has. keep it. Neutral, keep it simple and do not. Finish the sentence with she's better than me in any form or fashion, because it's not necessary. why are you going to talk shit about yourself?"She has a very nice dress," and just leave it at that. And that's going to replace the competition with just a mutual celebration or just being. Able to say something nice about somebody. Or complimenting somebody it's much healthier of a mindset to you. I do that than it is for you to just continue to talk shit about yourself, because why would you want to do that? So I hope that this is helpful. When it comes to. getting ready for the holidays. So little self care before you go create a morning ritual. enjoy some music or something calming, whatever is going to set yourself for success and having a positive day. Do that first. Find an outfit that makes you feel comfortable. Most importantly, that also leads to some confidence that puts you. In the gratitude. Space in your mind. So when you go to Thanksgiving, You're feeling that energy. Or Christmas as well. You're feeling the good part of the family energy. not the drama, you're feeling the energy of the holidays and everything positive that has to do with that space. it might not even be with family. I happen to be a family person. But maybe it's with your friends, maybe it's a friends giving, maybe it's it. Dinner at your best friend's family's house, whatever it is. Put yourself in the place to create confidence and gratitude and enjoy it. That's what it's there for. And when you listen to comments and hear what people have to say, Put a repellent shield on that and boomerang it back to them. Give them back that energy. You don't need it sitting in your mind. You don't need to ruminate in whatever comments people say again. It's a boomerang it's words. It's bouncing off. You. And sticking back on them. What is that? That rhyme, the rubber and glue. Yeah. When you're a little kid, like I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever you say, bounce off me and sticks off of you. Hello. That just totally, I don't know why I've thought about that, but whatever. It's propelling. You don't need to worry about what people say It's true as an adult. So there's so many lessons that we had when we were young kids that. Still resonate with us as adults. So that is probably one of the golden rules. Maybe not the golden rule, but it's just one of those. Nice things that. You remember as a child and keep it dear to your heart because it's a life lesson. Enjoy your holiday next week. You've got 10 days to prepare for it. That gives you plenty of time to start practicing those things, finding a playlist, finding the outfit that makes you feel great. giving yourself ideas of how you're going to respond to stupid comments, don't let that overtake your life for the next 10 days, but if you need a little bit of time to prepare for that, Take a little time to do that for yourself because that's also self care. Enjoy your holiday and have a great time with whatever plans you decide to have. Thanks so much. I'll talk to you soon.