The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast
The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast
Episode 28: Playing4Keeps Dating App with DJ Robinson
In this episode of 'The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast,' host Cristina welcomes DJ Robinson, creator of Playing4Keeps, a dating app and host of the Playing4Keeps Podcast. DJ shares her journey of creating the app based on her personal dating experiences and the need for deeper compatibility. They discuss topics like toxic relationships, self-improvement, and DJ's innovative board games aimed at facilitating meaningful connections during speed dating. The conversation also includes a candid talk about personal growth in relationships and DJ's participation in the Forbes Entrepreneur of Impact Contest.
00:00 Introduction to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast
00:50 Meet DJ Robinson: Host of Playing4Keeps Podcast
01:53 The Inspiration Behind Playing4Keeps
03:01 Toxic Relationships and Personal Growth
06:22 Exploring the Playing4Keeps Dating App
11:40 DJ Robinson's Forbes Entrepreneur Contest
13:20 Innovative Speed Dating Board Games
17:00 Taking Accountability in Relationships
17:41 Personal and Professional Life Discrepancies
18:03 Family Dynamics and Relationship Patterns
18:30 Learning from Breakups
19:50 The Hero Complex in Relationships
20:47 Navigating Kindness and Boundaries
24:10 Communication Challenges and Growth
28:48 Rekindling and Growing Together
31:42 Conclusion and Contact Information
DJ Robinson's Links:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/playing4keepsapp/
VOTE HERE: Entrepreneur of Impact: https://entrepreneurofimpact.org/2025/dj-robinson
Consultation Call: https://calendly.com/cristinacoaches/discovery-session
FREE Curvy Girl Dating Checklist: https://thecurvygirldatingcoach.myflodesk.com/datingchecklist
Website: https://www.thecurvygirldatingcoach.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecurvygirldatingcoach
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thecurvygirldatingcoach
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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thecurvygirldatingcoach
Email List: https://thecurvygirldatingcoach.myflodesk.com/emaillist
You are listening to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast, Episode 28: Playing4Keeps dating app with DJ Robinson. Hi, I'm Cristina. After 10 years of dating, I was tired of attracting the wrong type of guys and thinking I had to lose weight to find love. I finally figured out how to date and I found the love I thought I would never find each week. I'll teach you dating advice, share dating stories and help you ditch the dating drama. My goal is to help you have fun and create the life you love. If you're ready to take your dating to another level, then listen up and let's go. Hello everyone. Thank you so much for listening to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast. I'm Cristina and I'm The Curvy Girl Dating Coach. And today I have a super exciting guest that I was a guest on her podcast a long time ago. It's DJ Robinson and she is the host of the Playing4Keeps Podcast. Yes. And she also has a dating app and all kinds of things that we're going to talk about. So I'm super excited to get started and talk to you about it today. Tell me about you and what you do and your podcast and all the things.
DJ:And all the things. okay. I'm like, where do I start? Like you mentioned, I have a podcast. That's how me and you were introduced, to Playing4Keeps P odcast. And then I have a dating app with the same name Playing4Keeps. I'm recently am now creating board games and card games for speed dating events and for couples who just started dating and they want to get to know each other on a deeper level and maybe they don't want to ask those questions right away or maybe are uncomfortable, but they know they need to ask these certain questions to see how far, the relationship is going to go. So that's what I'm in the middle of doing now. as far as why I created Playing4Keeps, that's a long story that's changed and evolved. So I was dating this guy, it was a very toxic relationship, we'll put it that way. I met him on a dating app, and as our relationship progressed, I would try to get him to take different like personality tests, like love language tests. I believe there was an emotional intelligence tests that I took and I was curious to see what his results would be and he never would take these tests. And we ended up breaking up. And it hurt me really bad due to several different reasons. Like as far as me, like pouring so much into the relationship, only for him to break up with me. That's something I never experienced. It was always me leaving the person. I had to take a deep look at myself, but before I took a real deep look at myself and started doing the self work, I just came up with an idea. It would be dope to have a dating app that will make these guys take different tests before they match with girls. And then they would see the results and hopefully they would see how shitty they were.
Cristina:I love it.
DJ:That was my initial thought and, it has evolved since then. I definitely played a role in that toxic relationship in regards to even if it was just me pouring into the relationship, knowing I had no business pouring into it. Now I know that we all need to heal. We all have things we need to work on. Even if you are the person who thinks you're the good girl or the good guy, it always goes back to, okay, if you are that, why are you dealing with this person in the first place? So I had to really do a lot of self work. And as I did a lot of self work and created a podcast where I talked to coaches like yourself and other people, it really helped me grow as a person and just grow my concept for Playing4Keeps.
Cristina:And I like,"I just want them to know how shitty they are."
DJ:That relationship was really bad and how it ended was really bad.
Cristina:Yeah, my last long term relationship long time ago, it ended with him giving me a high five. Like I broke up with him, but it was again, like a very toxic relationship, I really feel now like he was just dating me as an opportunity to leech. He was like an opportunist and would be friends with people that would convenience him or be in relationships with people that do things that work for him at the time, but doesn't have any real connection to it. This is what's going to help me get through life at this point.
DJ:That's basically what that relationship was. I met him on the dating app and the same day I met him, I was like in my early twenties, mid twenties. I had my little car and my job and stuff like that. And he was like,"okay, we can meet." I'm driving to his complex. He had his own place. I'm driving to his complex and I see two dudes walking and so I had a real weird hunch that I wonder if that's him walking. I was like,"nah, I can't be." I'm driving in the neighborhood and when I reach the apartment that he tells me it's at, call him like,"hey, I'm here." He was like,"yeah, you just passed me." That wasn't me. And then as I venture in, I get to his place. Those are a whole bunch of red flag. Cause meeting somebody on the first date.
Cristina:I was like, you went to his house.
DJ:I had my friend with me though, in the thing, me and my homegirl went. Okay.
Cristina:Okay. Well, that's fine. If you have your homegirl with you.
DJ:Um, we go into his place and it's him and a whole bunch of homeboys there were living with him. if I go into the states, it's just crazy. But I say all that to say to your point of, okay, he didn't have a car. He, it turned out that he was a scammer. I found that out. Few weeks into it. That's a crazy story.
Cristina:That's a red flag!
DJ:I didn't know until a few weeks into it. And how I found out was a, that's another crazy story. But even after that, I venture on. Okay.
Cristina:I think we need to do 10 podcast episodes with you because it,
DJ:It's, oh my God. But I say all that to say, give me a picture of his predicament. And like I said, I had my car. I was in the entry level portion of my career now, because I also have a daytime job and I was grown in that career field. Dating him is okay, I'm dating somebody. I want them to grow too. So I'm pouring my resources. I'm pouring my knowledge, my energy, my time, and helping this person, like in their own way grow. And I felt like he, at the end of the day, he was just taking what he could and he really didn't care. I'm praying that he grew now, whoever he's dealing with is, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Cristina:Okay. So tell me about your app. So you told me you have a personality tests and questions to answer. Is this a local, app?
DJ:It's available everywhere. And how the app works, so when you download the app, you go through your profile, you add your stuff and then there's an option for you to take the Enneagram test. You take an Enneagram test and then you get your profile together. as you're swiping, because you still swipe, when you match with somebody, before you can message them, you have to play a compatibility game first. And I have four in there right now. I have one that's a sexual compatibility game, if you're into that. Me personally, I need to know if, You like to go to those type of clubs. I need to know beforehand. So there's that one.
Cristina:It's nice to know that up front.
DJ:I think so too, like you don't want to be surprised or later on down the line you think everything is good.
Cristina:You know where I've had a first date before?
DJ:Where?
Cristina:At massage adult parlor.
DJ:Ooh, that's,
Cristina:I thought it was gonna be a foot reflexology place.'cause he was like,"oh yeah, you know, we could use massage, blah, blah, blah. You wanna go grab a massage?" I'm like,"hell yeah." And I'm literally thinking like the foot reflexology places. And it was like he paid first and then we passed all the little foot reflex because I don't know if you've been to a foot reflexology place.
DJ:I have not.
Cristina:So it's just like a bunch of chairs, like it's in public ish, like one big room and they have a bunch of massage chairs and then they rub your feet, and it's mostly like a foot rub and then you'll turn over and they'll rub your back real quick or whatever.
DJ:They do the butt too?
Cristina:A professional little butt rub, on the elbow.
DJ:Okay.
Cristina:But, at the places that I feel like are legit, you know, and, so it's like that. And then sometimes they might be in a big room, but they'll have like curtains in between each person to give a little bit of privacy. But most of the time, it's not private to semi private, right? So we like pass all the public room and go to the back room. And it's like a couple's massage place. And I've never met this person and I should have thought that, you know, it's over now, but I get what you're saying to get a massage on the first day. It was probably a stupid idea anyways, but I honestly, did not expect it to be like that.
DJ:So many women would take that offer up though. Like it definitely would have been an upgrade compared to what I just told you. Just going to go hang out at homie's house. So I definitely would have took the massage. Definitely.
Cristina:I thought we were going to get like a massage and then go to coffee or something.
DJ:That actually sounds kind of dope.
Cristina:Like a little 30 minute massage and then you feel good and then you can talk about it and then, whatever. But anyways, it ended up being like a butt naked massage and it was very uncomfortable. And I thought,"this is the day that it's going to get raided, and then I'm going to be like on TV and I'm going to lose my job because I'm going to be like the creeper, that creeper female that went to a butt naked or whatever you call it. And I was terrified. And I was like,"this is the slowest hour I have ever been in." So that was one terrible first date. Another terrible first date was, we went to a nudist beach. I didn't know it was the nudist beach. Asked to go to the beach."Hey, you want to go to the beach?" Okay. Guess what? Everybody's naked. So, and then it was like to a point where it would be weird if you weren't. Oh, you know what I'm saying? So it was just, okay. So sexual compatibility, this is where we got to this point is your test. I would like to know up front if you're going to those kinds of clubs or beaches or massage parlors, just saying.
DJ:And in my test, you'll gauge like if this person is like that adventurous type where you might be the more intimate type, you know what I'm saying? So yeah, there's that one. And then there's the emotional intelligence one. We need to know if y'all match emotionally intelligent. So there's a low, medium, and then high. Then there's the love language, love style, compatibility test. And then the last one is, the attachment theory compatibility test. So those are the four that I have right now. So you can, you get to learn a lot about yourself and a lot about the people that you're matching with. And then once you play, and it's a short game, like I have, maybe I have over a hundred questions for each one, but within the games, it's only five. So you're only answering five. So it's not like it's long drawn out thing. Once you play the game, then from there you both can message each other. Okay. And if you don't, say if you swipe, you both swipe each other, you like each other, and y'all don't play a game. If you're on the free version, you have 24 hours to, play a game or the person will disappear from your match queue completely. So it's really being intentional on, Hey, if you're a serious dater and you want to get to know somebody, you need to do it now.
Cristina:That's so good. I want to download it now and I'm not even looking to date, but no, that's awesome. I'm going to put a link in the show notes, for the app, and then we'll do something. We'll do something later to collaborate with the app. So I know you're in this contest. Tell me about your contest.
DJ:I'm in the Forbes Entrepreneur of Impact Contest. In this contest, you could win$25,000 towards your business. You could also win, a cover on Forbes and a one on one coaching session with one of the Shark Tank coaches. Oh my God. His name is leaving me. I can't remember.
Cristina:Mr. Wonderful?
DJ:It's not Mr. Wonderful. It's the other one. It's the black guy.
Cristina:Oh, yeah. Yeah. Daymond John. Yes. I have his book and I met him before.
DJ:Is he cool?
Cristina:He's cool. He did like a book signing when he had a new book out and I went and, it was a quick, 15 minute speech about, doing well in your business and then like a handshake and a sign and a picture. But he was nice.
DJ:Okay, that's good because you still can sense energy I think when you meet somebody even if it's for a few seconds So that was just curious. So yeah, I'm in this contest and it's a contest where people have to vote And you vote on the person's business and what you think of it and all that stuff and I need to be number one amongst hundreds of businesses that have joined the contest. Vote for me.
Cristina:Yes. Okay. Everybody join, go to the link in my show notes and vote for DJ Robinson. Yeah. And you vote for once a day, right?
DJ:You vote once. Thank you for that. You vote once a day. And then some days they two times to vote. So If you go on there and two times, if you're willing to spend a little bit of change, it'll double the votes.
Cristina:Yes, you need to win because your app is amazing. And then tell me about your board games that you're doing too.
DJ:Yes. So I have, a speed dating board game. So when I went to speed dating events, before I started hosting my own, I noticed that people had issues creating conversations. So if you haven't been to a speed dating event before, how speed dating works, they'll sit you down at a table with another individual for maybe five to 10 minutes. And then once the round is over, they'll ring the bell and then you'll switch to another table where you'll meet another individual and it'll go like that for two hours. And I just noticed the conversation. Like I said, people didn't know what to say, or the conversation was real generic. When I started doing my own events here in Atlanta, I decided to do like this prototype kind of testing thing. I liked the board game trouble, the one with the popper, with the dice, I don't know why I love that game for whatever reason as a kid, and I just thought it would be cool if I bought some poppers and then I created like this kind of this playtest board where. imagine we're sitting across from each other and you have 17 questions in a circular kind of shape towards you. And then I have my own 17 questions and then you have this popper in the middle and then I'll go first. I'll pop the popper. It lands on six. I'll take my little piece and I'll move it down six pieces. And then I asked you a question about dating and relationships and what you think and then you'll have to answer that question and then we're going back and forth for 10 minutes. People like that concept and they really were able to engage whether they could see themselves dating this person or not. So I got really good feedback. And I started making like real actual board games.
Cristina:If you want me to be a prototype person, send me one.
DJ:I'm going to send you, I'm going to send you one.
Cristina:No, seriously.
DJ:I'm serious too. I'd love to get your thoughts on it.
Cristina:Yeah, I'll set something up over here and then, yeah, see, we could collaborate so many different ways.
DJ:Yeah, so that's what I'm working on i'm gonna start pushing now and it all ties back to the dating app so if you're someone who's single and you decide to get the board game you could take it on first date so maybe the second or third date and you can just play this interactive game with another person and really dive in and get to know them.
Cristina:That's awesome, yeah I've been considering doing little get togethers around, like locally around my neighborhood and stuff like that. I haven't really gone that far to actually commit to it yet, but it's been in my head. Okay, we're going to do this So it just like a women's only bitch fest, but like a healthy one, right? Because you have a life coach with you. You know what I mean? You chat with your friends and then they don't want to hear you talking about being single again, like the same shit over and over again. And so you need like a new sounding board of people that understand. I wanted to have a single bitch fest kind of thing, but like in a healthy way where we actually have"okay, what are we going to do different about it? What did you learn from this?" And actually have an engaging conversation that you learn from it? I haven't executed anything yet. It's just all in the head.
DJ:Gotcha. That'd be dope. That's a great idea, actually. If you try my board game out and you like it to even see. Because I know when I created questions that I knew I wouldn't have been able to answer like five, six years ago. So I'm wondering if maybe if you would even want to maybe take the board game and see like how, if the women could even answer those questions, because we end up in bad situations because, we ultimately don't know ourselves and how our past traumas like affect our decisions.
Cristina:That's true. And like you were saying at the beginning when you and your ex broke up and like how you had this point where you had to have like personal growth and stuff like that. A lot of people don't do that. There's so many people that don't take accountability for themselves and their own actions or like what happened. It's always that other person's fault. And sure, it could be the other person's fault, but like, why are you with the person that's shitty?
DJ:I'm so grateful he broke it off. And then even after he broke it off, we still were dealing with each other. It took for me to find out through the grapevine that he was having a baby with someone else. That's how, for me to finally, but when he broke it off with me, I really had to sit and look at myself because I always looked at myself, I'm the good guy, I'm the one who always, I'm the doer, I'm this, I'm that, but in reality, it was just me trying to fill a void. It's so weird because like in my professional life, I'm that girl, you know what I'm saying? I work done. I'm on top of everything. I am that girl, but then in my personal life, it just looks so different. Like having feeling like I had to prove to be in a relationship and if there was no type of struggle of me having prove, then to me, the relationship wasn't worth it. And that stemmed from what I've seen in my household with my parents. My parents, they're still together to this day, but they have a very codependent type of relationship. And then my relationship with my father was non existent. And we lived in the same house, so I found myself dealing with men who were dismissive, like him. And in my own way, subconsciously trying to turn the tables and prove I was worthy and didn't dismiss me. I had to learn all of that. I had to take a pause when he broke up with me because it, like I said, in the past, it was always me breaking up. I finally would get tired. I would break up with the person and I wouldn't feel this type of way because I broke up with them, But I poured the most into that relationship and he broke up with me and it was just Oh, hold on, wait a second. I had to look at myself and stop. I couldn't fully demonize him. I really had to take a hard look at myself. Like, why did you put yourself through that?
Cristina:Yeah. The same thing with me when I broke up with my ex, like it was my sister's wedding. And, he was having car issues. He couldn't get to the venue on time. He was calling me asking me to help him bail him out. And it's like an hour before the wedding. I don't have time for that shit right now. Like I am busy with my sister being a maid of honor right now. I don't care about your car, but it was a whole thing, And then I was like, wait a fucking minute, and I looked around the room at all the other bridesmaids, all my sister's best friends. And I'm like, her man wouldn't do that. Her man wouldn't do that. Her man wouldn't do that. All these people have like homeboys that they can call and be like, Hey man, I need to go get to my girl's wedding or whatever. And I got to hurry up. Can you help me out? And then get help from somebody. They don't have to call mommy girlfriend to go find them.
DJ:We did date the same person. Okay. I'm just right. Yeah, we did. Because he used to do stuff like that. Oh, he could just call his homeboys for me in the back of my mind. I wanted to be the hero everywhere. And another thing I had to come to realize, too, in order for me to have a healthy relationship was, I have to be okay with needing from a man. For the longest, I just wanted to look like I didn't need anything. Because I felt If I was needy in any type of way, then I could be easily discarded. that was my thought process based on what I saw. I always have to be the resourceful one. that's just the role that I played in friendships, relationships, even with my parents, my parents rely on me heavily to this day. And learning to dissect just all of that and not dilute it especially dealing with a romantic relationship. But no man was really able to get close to me because I didn't give him anything to get close to you saying so that's something I had to learn to stop trying to be the hero because it's not going to serve you in a way that you think it is it's going to serve you in the opposite way and it did for a very long time.
Cristina:So I was listening to your podcast earlier today and your last podcast with your friend and it was fantastic and it really resonated to me when she was talking about her kindness and how it can be misrepresented as being interested with somebody and being their girlfriend or being in a relationship because I'm a nice person too and I like to give and I'm very caring. Yes, I'm an ex people pleaser. So I do know that there's some other shit I got going on around there, but without being a people pleaser, I'm just a genuinely a nice, pretty nice person. Unless you like are on my bad side, then I've got that Libraness in me. I will make it a full time job to make your life miserable, Most of the time. I'm pretty nice.
DJ:I know as well, like I like to smile a lot. I like to say hello. my boyfriend says I'm too friendly. And I have to remind him like, Hey, this is my personality. You're not going to dim down my light. Just because I'm smiling, I'm friendly, that doesn't mean I want to sleep with this man. Some of the men do, but the men, on the reverse side of why he says, what he says is because some of the men do get it confused. Think you're flirtatious. They'll also be in my, yeah, they'll get flirtatious and they also will be in my inbox because the industry that I'm in stuff like that. And you set a boundary and you keep it moving. and back to what you said, I'm also an ex people pleaser, but I am also very generous as well. if I feel now, if I feel led in my heart to give, and the trick for me is, okay, will I feel resentment if I give this person this and I don't ever see it again? Or if they don't maybe live up to a certain expectation, if I know I'm not going to feel any resentment, I'll give yeah, I feel like I will feel some type of resentment that's my rule now as an ex people pleaser. I will take a pause, breathe, and think before I just, but here you go. Yes, and for me, it started off with just text messages when I knew I had to say no, I couldn't even get on the phone. It was, I would just text. No, then they would start calling and blowing me up. It would just be my phone on DND for hours at a time, but people show their true colors after a while. Oh, yeah. So then after a while, I was able to build up the courage to have those tough conversations. If I wasn't going to give more, but yeah, just, it's okay. I think it's okay to be a giver.
Cristina:Yeah, I think so too. as long as you're not being taken advantage of, but you've got to figure that out, open your eyes and figure it out.
DJ:And that's okay. Like people act, it's not the end of the world. If you do get played or something like that, you learn to learn. You just move on. And you keep it moving. I don't understand that. people try to make it look so bad to be a people pleaser or to be generous You learn your lessons I think you're the total opposite if you're able to be open. Now, of course, learn your lessons when somebody do you dirty. Okay, I can't be this version of myself with that person anymore. I'm not letting you keep it moving. And then that's it. Don't change who you are.
Cristina:And I like that you say that. That's a very good point."I cannot be this version of myself with this person anymore." you can still be yourself and still be authentic. It's just not a match. Because that person's not reciprocating and doing it right. It's not a matching. So they got to go and you still get to be yourself. You don't have to change. So that's really important. when that happened with my boyfriend now that I've been with for almost five years, when we first started dating, I was in the belief that I'm looking for a relationship and I want to be a girlfriend and whatever and things didn't quite work out. And like a month into it, I was like,"Hey, you know what? I don't think we really have a lot in common and, thanks, but no thanks. Yeah. I don't think we're a match or whatever." And he was like,"what do you mean?" Which first of all, he's the only guy who had ever fought for me. Like usually people will just chuck the deuce and be like, all right, bye. Or be like you're fat anyways, or, just dumb shit. So he was the only person that like, Was like no, like this doesn't make any sense. And he was just like, you act like a girlfriend to me. You act like you're in a relationship with me. And he was like, because you're affectionate, like we hold hands and, whatever. And I say please. And thank you. And I'm kind. And I, We make dinner and watch movies and we cook together. Yeah, that was a big one. We cook together and we find recipes and Oh, that's what he does. He's so you treated me like we were already in a relationship. And I'm like yeah, because I'm living in my future self. If I want to be in a relationship, I got to be in there. Be like a girlfriend, right? I can't just have this wall and be like, we're not going to hold hands, but I still want to get to know you and see if I have any attraction to you, but we're not going to hold hands. You can't come over. Like where's the boundary, and then when you're in a relationship, what's the next boundary?
DJ:I love that, you've been through so much in past relationships and you decided not to let that taint you because like I said, there's so many coaches now that are coming up with different tips, different tricks, raise your femininity by being a bitch. There's so many different things, authentically being yourself. Yeah. But then while you're authentically being yourself, like learning the lessons you need to learn from the people who have came into your life, look at everybody as a mirror and see what you need to learn from them. Because if you would have entered the relationship with the tricks and the tips. Yeah. you know what I'm saying? I don't think you would've been four or five years in, yeah. So I think that's beautiful that you actually decided to let me act as if, I'm in my highest self and I'm in, in my best relationship.
Cristina:I just feel like that's what you do and maybe your highest self and your best relationship isn't all that great. But then you get to learn, you get to learn, like for him, he wasn't all that great at relationships because he just didn't have these healthy relationships. So he wanted a healthy relationship and he knew like tools that you needed, like communication. He has a better communicator than me. I always wanted somebody who knew how to communicate and these people don't know how to communicate. Apparently I was the one that didn't know how to communicate.
DJ:I had to learn that too.
Cristina:That was a bitch slap in the face.
DJ:Seriously, I had to learn that too, because I know for me, stuff would bother me and I wouldn't say anything. This will help you with this. I'm thinking that's communication, but when it really came down to it, my emotions, my feelings, what I needed. I did not communicate until I was ready to explode because I felt like, okay, what I need is obvious. It's simple shit. You know what I'm saying? It's simple.
Cristina:You just ask for it.
DJ:And then I would just explode. And then, I really had to learn that. Okay, Dominique, you really got to work on your communication. Like it's not, this is not the move.
Cristina:So yeah, like he had to force me to tell him why I didn't like him, which was so uncomfortable. You know what I mean? Because I'd never communicated those things. Like I never had to try that hard to tell somebody I wasn't interested. Okay. I just was very surface level. Hey, not interested. Thanks. All right. Bye. Block. See ya. Whatever. Move on, and nobody tried, but when he was like,"no, I need to know why what is going on? There's something off, like you act like a girlfriend, whatever." Anyways, back to your last podcast. That's what I felt it because that's exactly how I was in my relationship with him when we got started. But it ended up being like a good ending. It just doesn't always, you know?
DJ:It doesn't always start that way, especially when people see you as this nice person. And then a lot of people take advantage. Yeah, but I'm pretty sure where you were in that stage, you probably would have been able to walk away for real.
Cristina:So did you use any of your tools to get in your relationship? Are you using, did you use the tools that you created to get into your relationship?
DJ:Okay. I had my son is about to be 13. So me and his dad separated. And then I got into that toxic relationship, learned all the things I learned. And now I'm back with, my son's father and we are working through it. I would say, yeah, I'm using my tools as far as what I learned, yeah, learning to communicate better, also him, also learning to communicate better. We played my board game, we still don't see like eye to eye completely, to be completely honest with you.
Cristina:I mean, but that's okay. That's a beautiful thing.
DJ:Yeah. And we worked through a lot of our challenges now. Before when we were together, it was really one sided because I didn't speak up a lot. And he also was in a place. Something about me. My son is a transplant patient, so we went through a lot of traumatic stuff with our son. And he just couldn't deal with it. And at the time, I was really the only one pushing and dealing with it. And, he took a backseat. We also were very young. I had my son at 20, so we're about the same age. So the relationship didn't go well, but a few of the things that I know I could have done better. My communication could have been better. I think the main thing was my communication could have been better, right? Yeah. And he could have done a lot of things better, but we're not going to get into that. But we both have grown separately and now we're growing together. We've used my speed dating game board and then, as far as like just tools in general, like really getting into emotional intelligence, learning not to explode on each other. Communicating better. So I would say through just our growth separately, we've been able to continue To grow, but no, he's not, he won't get on my dating app too. So no, we're not using my tools necessarily.
Cristina:Your personal growth tools, as well,
DJ:Like I said, our communication has gotten a lot better. we didn't even really know each other. It was like the fight. We were like 17 when we met.
Cristina:You don't even know yourself at that age.
DJ:We separated and now that we're back together, it's just, it's getting to know each other and growing and taking care of our son.
Cristina:But isn't it great? Like you needed to have like your own little lives real quick and learn individually to go to yourself. Cause could you imagine if you were just fighting and fighting, like to keep a relationship. That whole time to now, how frustrating it
DJ:I don't think any of us would be here in like real life in the physical. It was really bad.
Cristina:So it's sometimes it's good to just separate mature in different spaces and then come back. There's nothing wrong with that, and especially, like you said, your son being a transplant patient. I know that's like a lifelong, just like any parenting is and co parenting situation, but it's a lot, I totally get that. Like I'm a healthcare person and my nephew has disabilities and so I understand it's a different family dynamic. And yeah, it really is.
DJ:Yeah. And dealing with that so young, it was really tough in the beginning. So yeah.
Cristina:But that's good that you could separate and then you get. You got it now. So good for you. So where can people find you?
DJ:So you can find me on Instagram playing4keepsapp. So thats"Playing," the#4"Keeps app" and you'll find me there. You'll find all my content there. You'll find my links there where you can, vote for me, an entrepreneur of impact. You can, if you decide you're interested in checking out the website to, check out the game boards, you can find me there.
Cristina:Awesome. I love it. Thank you so much for being a guest and please you're welcome to come on anytime because you're fabulous. All right. Thanks so much. Bye.