Episode 33: Lesson from Ted Lasso: "Believe"

In Episode 33 of The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast, Cristina Gonzalez, the Curvy Girl Dating Coach, draws inspiration from the TV show Ted Lasso to explore the importance of belief in oneself when it comes to dating. Cristina shares her personal journey of overcoming self-doubt related to societal pressures about weight and finding love. She emphasizes that self-belief is crucial for cultivating healthy, lasting relationships. Throughout the episode, she discusses practical ways to maintain self-belief, handle rejection positively, and celebrate small victories. Cristina encourages listeners to foster a mindset of confidence and surround themselves with supportive, positive influences, much like Ted Lasso's iconic 'Believe' sign in the locker room.

00:00 Introduction to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast
00:13 Cristina's Personal Dating Journey
00:56 Lessons from Ted Lasso
02:18 The Power of Belief in Dating
03:57 Building Self-Confidence and Overcoming Rejection
10:41 Celebrating Small Victories
12:50 Surrounding Yourself with Believers
14:51 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

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Transcript

Cristina: 0:01

You are listening to The Curvy Girl Dating Podcast, Episode 33: Lessons from Ted Lasso"Believe." Hi, I'm Cristina. After 10 years of dating, I was tired of attracting the wrong type of guys and thinking I had to lose weight to find love. I finally figured out how to date and I found the love I thought I would never find each week. I'll teach you dating advice, share dating stories and help you ditch the diet drama and help you ditch the dating drama. My goal is to help you have fun and create the life you love. If you're ready to take your dating to another level, then listen up and let's go. Hello everyone. Welcome back to the Curvy Girl Dating Podcast. I am Cristina Gonzalez and I am the Curvy Girl Dating Coach. So I've been watching Ted Lasso a lot lately. I was, binge watching it because I heard that they're gonna have a fourth season so I wanted to watch the first three seasons so I can get excited about the potential fourth season that's hopefully coming up. There's so many lessons in the show that are relatable to dating and I just kept thinking about it. The one that I really wanna talk about today is about belief. He has that yellow sign hanging in the locker room. Right above his office door. It's the big yellow sign and it's got the"believe" in big blue letters. It means so much. That word believe it means so much and it's such an impact being in that locker room. And so he did that strategically, right? It's something he believes in. He is surrounding himself with that kind of energy and he wants other people to believe so he just throws it out there in a nice little sign above his door and I think it's a really good representation of who Ted Lasso is in the first place. He's a believer. He is a strong, coach, great attitude, whatever. What does it really mean to believe in yourself? That's something that we're gonna talk about today, especially after dating feels like rejection after rejection and things that society tells us that keeps us believing that we're not wanted because of our size. Totally untrue, but it's just something that's in our mind because we are surrounded by it in society, so it's easy to fall into that thinking of,"if I looked different, maybe it'd already be in a relationship. If I lost weight, nobody's gonna fall in love with me at this weight. I'm just too fat for anyone to love me." All of these are thoughts that have been in my mind, all of them, and I'm sure that there's a million more, but I just want this episode to remind you that if you want the kind of love that's real and healthy and long lasting, believing in yourself isn't optional. You need to believe in who you are. That is what's going to get you the love that you want, that you deserve, that you're looking for, because you're creating that inner belief and that inner love for yourself, so that's what you need to have as your own core before you can receive that love that's real and healthy and lasting. So we're gonna talk about belief today. Let's just get into it and let's talk about it. It's believing in yourself, even when it's hard, what does belief actually mean and what does it actually mean when it comes to dating? It to me, believing in myself is this like unshakeable knowing that I'm worthy, I'm capable, I'm enough that I'm just this bad bitch and I know who I am and I'm confident in myself and I believe that I can be an example of what's possible, right? Because that's always what I wanna try to do is be an example and show that people can do things that are hard, right? Believing is hard. Dating is hard. So many things are hard for you to do, but having that thought in your mind that you know that the world doesn't need to validate you and even when things don't go your way and when you are in a season of uncertainty, you're still enough and you can still believe. And it's not about being perfect. It's not about having 24/7 confidence or never feeling doubtful. We're allowed to have negative feelings or disbelief in ourself. It's just choosing how to show up for yourself anyways when those times do get hard. And when it comes to dating, it's relatable because it's trusting your value before someone else affirms it. Like you don't need to have somebody else confirm that you're valuable. You are already the shit and you want somebody to join you. You don't need them to compliment you. Rejection doesn't define you and it doesn't mean that someone doesn't invite you to a second date that you are not good enough. It just means that you are not for them. You're not broken. You're still a whole capable person that is worthy of love. Worthy of belief. Because again, belief isn't optional, but it's choosing how to show up for yourself. So to me, belief is that ability to keep going. And don't confuse it with toxic positivity or pretending all the time that you feel like you're amazing. If you have seen Ted Lasso, you would know that he is this happy go lucky, great guy. He's always trying to pump people up. He just has that coach mentality and mindset like within him and his soul. But he has his own shit going on too. He's not always happy 100%. He is surrounded by people who he wants to pep up, and that's gonna pep him up as well, because he's being surrounded by that positivity and the ability to believe so you don't have to pretend to be positive and amazing and always feel good. Feelings are feelings and you're valid to have any feeling you want. Good or bad. Just remind yourself that even though you believe, sometimes it feels shitty and you just gotta get through it, it's just part of the work that you have to do to figure things out. Holding onto the truth that you're enough, no matter what, before you find a partner. You are still already enough. You have to believe that before you go out. If you only believe that you're only good enough when you have a partner, it's gonna be even harder to find a partner because you don't know what's good enough. There's a lot of settling that could be involved in that. You already have to know that you're enough and you're 100%. So that Ted Lasso vibe is even when they're losing, he still shows up with heart and leadership and optimism, and he is there no matter what. No matter how hard it sucks to lose. When you lose 5-0 against Man City, you could still come out of that with the belief that it was just one game that was a hard game. That the next game can be even better. It can be a win. So even when you're losing, still showing up with a belief you can keep moving forward and try no matter what, is an example of believing in yourself, even when it's hard. So in relation to dating. If you go on a date. You don't get a second date or they ghost you, or it's just not a good match. Keep believing that it's not a reflection of you. It's a reflection of who they are and they just don't deserve the love that you have to offer. Even when you're tired and you're burned out, or you're just feeling undateable. If they don't deserve the love that you have to offer, that's a belief that keeps you from the burnout. So how are you talking to yourself? I have a million thoughts a day, and to me, it's my self-talk. So how are you hyping yourself up before you leave the house? Are you hyping yourself up or are you tearing yourself down? Like before you go on a date, are you creating the belief or are you feeling tired and burned out? How are you showing up. Again, belief is how you show up for things. So how are you talking to yourself whenever you walk out the house and you're on a way to a date? Are you hyping yourself up or are you tearing yourself down? What is putting you in the belief that you're worthy and that you're capable of love and that you're capable of healthy relationships? How are you keeping away from the burnout or feeling undateable. You don't wanna show up to a date feeling undateable. Like that doesn't make sense, right? We wanna show up to a date being dateable. We don't wanna feel tired, we don't wanna feel burned out. We want to be ready for the best possible outcome. It's that confidence that you're creating. Confidence doesn't come before you put yourself out there. It's built by showing up even when you're scared. Even when times are hard, belief is always there for you. How can belief be there for you? What does that look like or what does that mean? To me, it's celebrating like small victories. I am always trying to find ways to celebrate myself. In just in real life, not even when it comes to dating, but in real life. It just celebrating these little small victories. I went on a walk, I took my dogs out on a walk. It might sound like a minimal thing. It might not sound like anything that's important, but for me it's a big celebration to get my dogs ready, go for a walk, and not see it as a chore. It's not a chore. It's an enjoyable time. I get to spend time with my dogs. They get to exercise, I get to exercise, I get to see my neighborhood. There's a lot of little wins that you can create for yourself that build belief. So what does that look like for dating? Small wins is that you went on the date and you came home and even though you were nervous, or even though the date didn't go well and you're embarrassed or whatever, you still showed up and that's a win in itself, right? So another victory would be. Being able to tell them that you are not interested. Not having to feel like you are desperate or you need to just date anybody who's talking to you. Being able to have that small victory and celebrating that you have options and that you don't need to settle for anybody. That's another win. That's a huge win. That's not even a small victory. So track the wins and create evidence that you have more and more belief in yourself every single day. Catch those times when you're self-talk is negative. Again, it's okay to not always be in this positive mood and positive belief, but catching it, figuring out why, and then just realizing, I'm choosing to feel like crap when I can choose to have belief." You're just one thought away from believing, and again, surround yourself with other believers. Ted didn't build a team by himself, he's not the only one who has belief. He showed up to coach this team. He puts that yellow"believe" sign up there. He started showing up to be an example of what's possible. So him showing up and modeling his ability to believe in his team. Even when he is not even a football coach, he's an American football coach, but he is not a soccer coach, or a European football coach. It's not about what you're coaching, it's about the coach. So keeping your circle of believers around is so important. And the negative vibes, we don't want that here. It is not gonna keep your belief consistent and it will derail you when they're not supporting you and they're not supporting your beliefs and what you want. It's good to be around that energy and you also have to trust that the right person's gonna match your energy. If you're a believer in yourself, and you're a believer in that the right person is gonna match that same energy. They're gonna be the right match because there's belief between you two. And believing in yourself weeds out the people that are intimidated by you. It weeds out the people who are not in your energy. So get that belief energy and surround yourself in there because you're gonna find people that believe with you as well. So Ted Lasso's"believe" sign is more than a decoration. It's a mindset. It's a promise to yourself that even when things are hard and when you're tired, You still keep showing up for yourself every single day no matter what. So this week I want you to find one way to believe in yourself. Maybe it's updating your dating profile with a little bit of confidence or having a bold message. Just one thing that you can do to begin being in belief that you're amazing and that you're the prize. I hope this episode spoke to you, and if a friend needs to hear it, please share it. So go out there and be like Ted Lasso and believe. I'll see y'all next time.